this is the text I receive after my boyfriend got home from his affectionately named “mancation” with his friends
I love that Peter Capaldi keeps referring to his character as “Doctor Who” and none of the annoying pedants can correct him because he is, undoubtedly, a bigger fan than any of them.
wHEN THE MUSIC GETS ALL INTENSE AND U CAN’T FIND THE ENEMY
Promoing at the beach
Ancient Roman prostitutes did something similar, but usually they would have phalluses inscribed in their sandals. So, if you were ever in the mood, you could just look down and follow the dicks.
follow the yellow dick-road
I love history lessons on tumblr.
Or, y’know, that thing called “Passover.”
Or the whole thing with Noah’s Ark where he killed off everything in the world except Noah and his family, and two of every animal. Y’know, no big deal. Just millions of people.
90% of the Old Testament is about God killing people in temper tantrums
Are we not going to mention Jesus?
Oh my god.
remember that time the mcu had a complex, multi-faceted, morally ambiguous poc character steeped in social allegory and the fandom reduced him to ‘motherfucker’ jokes and pulp fiction references
I loved this scene
take me down to the Salt Lake City where there’s salt and lakes and the lakes are salty
Ever notice how when justifying a child’s misbehavior no one ever says stuff like “girls will be girls” or “she’s a girl”, but the list of things a “young lady” can’t do is almost endless?
You learn from a young age that masculinity comes with freedom; femininity comes with restrictions.
Jim Beaver just made the Ice Bucket Challenge haters sit down and shutup
Disclaimer: You will probably cry when you watch the video
ALL HAIL JIM BEAVER
a fucking condom balloon floated by me and my friends during gym
MY ENTIRE DAY HAS BEEN WEIRD AS FUCK AND I BLAME THE CONDOM BALLOON
A L L H A I L T H E M I G H T Y C O N D O M B A L L O O N
ah yes senior year what a fun time
okay today i learned that apparently the penis has a say in whether or not a child will be a boy or a girl
female sperm swims slower than male sperm, but the males can’t swim for as long as the females. this means that a long penis will be closer to the egg when releasing the sperm, and there will be a higher chance for the child to be a boy.
so in conclusion
if you have a lot of sons you have a big dick
THIS IS MY NEW FAVORITE POST